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I AM SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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October 1st, 2009

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Amazing is it not…

Amazing how we hate it when we try to hide and people figure us out.

Amazing how we push away those people who care and accept those who care very little and
excuse it as that person is just more laid back.

Friends =Trust, Truth, Consistency, Confidentiality, and Sacrifice.

When you become clear of your own self and understand your personal issues that create the
negativity of your situation. You start to see the bigger picture.

When you get mad and say you do not know me to make such judgments. A person is only
going to be able to judge you according to your actions given and showing towards them. In
other words if a person has known you for a year and during that year you have stole , lied,
cheated and been to jail and that person still talks to you.

The subject comes up and they tell you about it and you say you do not know me to say that. I
do not know you, but I know your actions. However am I to say anything or reflect but from your
actions.

Often time’s people accuse me of speaking in generalizations, but when I speak I speak not
from one incident but from multiple. I speak for multiple people who I have come across and
offer up this thought.

Amazing is it not. That we have become so selfish that we get mad because some people are
just truthful and tell us how we appear to them. I accept the role that I am come off mean. But I
come off mean because you refuse to see the truth I speak. The truth often times is mean. The
truth often times will challenge us to look into who we are and what we are about.

If you want a person to see you differently than the image they have then you need to think
about what image you portrayed to them.

Case in point… People say I am mean. Well to be honest the people that find me mean are
those that are so insecure that they are scared of what might come back at them. Since moving
to MN I have seen the word mean as a way to describe me time and time again. I ask the
person what is so mean about telling a woman I am not interested in her. Should I be like you
and just ignore her and hope she stops calling or talking?

Oh wait that is not mean that is called being nice. Better yet the old adage, “if you have nothing
nice to say, don’t say anything”. This is true in business. But this is not true in friendships of life
and developing a potential relationship.

People have said you need to not be yourself so much and lighten it up. But why? Why do I
have to be anything less than I have to be? Why, do I need to pretend to be less honest or less
truthful about life.

The answer is often the same thing. Not everyone is ready to accept or hear the truth and they
would get offended before taking the time to get to know you.

Well if you do not want to be judged on one meeting why are you judging me on one meeting? I
have sat back and watched friends lie to each other and scheme and outright talk about each
other like trash but yet they smile and make plans and hang out every day.

I keep very few people close as friends as not so much as a trust issue. But really if look at your
hand and have more than the number of finger’s as a friend then really you have too many
friends.

People are more worried about fake friendships and people who help them keep their
insecurities than real friendships. People who force them to face their insecurities or talk straight
are deemed mean and inappropriate.

I have battled and struggled and even tried to apologize for just being me. But why should I.

Why should I apologize when I call people out on lies and they can’t apologize for being liars?

Why would I feel bad because I speak my mind when others are applauding me secretly for
saying things they want to say but do not have the nerve to say?

If I was a famous person and speaking out, I would be commended and applauded about the
fact I’m so direct and I speak up for what I believe in. But because I am little known and just an
everyday Joe I am mean. I am rude!

Okay so rude is not saying hello to someone that talked shit on you and still to this day does it.
Rude is when you ask a person to happy hour and they say they will go and never do. They tell
you about how they can’t make it and how busy they are and you see pictures of them out and
about. Rude is when accuse a person of something and won’t ask them about it but feed into
and refuse to find out if it’s true and call it drama. Rude is when you say to a friend I could care
less if we speak or not. Then why are we wasting time speaking and when you stop speaking
they are all up in your face smiling like hey why do you not speak.

I have learned that life is not always black and white there are some grey lines. But those grey
lines come with a level of respect for the situation. You have to choose where those Grey lines
sit at.

If I am your friend you respect that I speak and act the way I do. You do not apologize for me
and you do not avoid hanging with me. I keep people at bay and they never realize it. When I
ask you to happy hour and you give me the run around I already know what you are doing.

When you tell me we should get together and give me shit for not contacting you and act like
why I already know how much of an idiot you are.

Most are going to read this and say, “He must be angry or mad at someone” Why can’t I just
speak on something that bothers me. Why can’t I be a voice without a name that is saying
enough of the BS and Fake shit?

No I am not a sunshine happy person all the time. Who the fuck is? No, I will not say the right
thing just to keep you happy. Yes if we are having a discussion I will offer my thoughts weather
you like it or not. And if you do not want it tell me upfront you don’t want to hear what I have to
say just listen.

No I won’t apologize for being direct and not putting up with your bullshit. Yes YOUR

BULLSHIT!! YOU FAKE SMILING HAPPY TO SEE YOU BUT TALKING SHIT ON MY BACK

BULLSHIT. YOUR WE’RE COOL BUT NEVER HANG OUT BULLSHIT. YOUR PASSIVE

AGGRESSIVE FIND A WAY TO SAY IT NICE BUT A DUCK IS A DUCK SO FUCK IT

BULLSHIT.

So while you sit there and think he is angry and or I don’t want to talk to him about this. Am I
talking to you? Am I talking in general? If you think it’s you and you don’t care then hit the delete
button, I won’t miss you as much as you won’t miss me. If you think it’s not you but yet you
never really took time to know me outside of superficial crap maybe you need to realize some
people in this world like substance and not fluff. Some people prefer the real of who you are.

Friendships and all relationship are mirrors and when you look in the mirror are you happy with
what you see? If you think being fake and is nice, then this is for you. If you think I am mean
then this is for you. If you think I am too direct then this is for you? If you never in your life took
the time to talk to me and figure out I am a the biggest goof ball don’t give a damn have fun and
enjoy yourself person and still think I’m mad. Hit delete because really I GOT NO TIME FOR

FAKES ONES!!!!!!!!!

BLESSING AND LOVE CAUSE THAT IS ALL I HAVE FOR YOU!!!!!!

Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31

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