Dating via text or email is it possible?
June 25th, 2010
I have often said to friends how amazing it is that while technology was meant to bring us
together it has actually divided us. Yes my friend’s modern technology has made us more self
serving and even more out of touch with regards to just common respect towards each other. I
offer these few examples to you to get your perspective. Tell me how you think.
You meet someone from myspace, facebook, twitter, match or any social networking site dating
or not. A person is looking over your site to get to know you and understand how you are. You
have to make sure you have pictures that really reflect who you are or they could be mistaken
for something other than they are. You and this person exchange information and you start to
text or email. Now the first contact to exchange numbers or emails there is really no big deal, it’s
an initial contact.
You decide you want to meet the person for drinks or for just casual meet. You create this
connection via text or email. You never speak to the person on the phone for about a good
month. Now where our generation has changed is when the ads use to be in the paper you
would call and talk at least for a few times. Even if you had AOL and did chat rooms back in the
day you would speak on the phone to get to know the person.
Today people seem to be more comfortable with just a text here or there saying hello and
asking how a person’s day is, and or questioning them if they are looking for a relationship or
just sex? What’s crazy about this concept is that people are not talking on the phone to even
see if there is a connection verbally. Anyone can text and respond it’s very impersonal and
obviously easy to get to the point. But in dating isn’t that part of the mystique.
You meet a person and you enjoy getting to know them on a personal level. Yes text comes in
handy. “Hey I’m in a meeting running late will call when out.” “Hey my car broke down not sure if
I can make plans.” Today people are more than likely to have complete conversations via text or
email and then decide hey this person is worth meeting. Yeah you figured it out from a written
response vs. an actual level of talking on the phone.
While I understand our dating world and life in general has gone viral but what happened to the
phone conversation and real human talk. No emotion No real connection. It’s like people are
looking for a smiley face or a L.O.L (laugh out loud) or any typed emotion to express what they
think and or the other person is thinking.
Is it too much to ask for personal connection these days? I mean have we really gone to a
completely non emotional connection that people are more respectful to others who are entirely
viral vs. people who are still old school and like the human factor of creating any friendship.
I have a few people in my phone and on my facebook. Some of these are women who I flirt with
and they flirt with me. I enjoy the banter but when it comes to talking they are busy. They are
asking me meet and hangout but it’s always via facebook or text. Frankly I have no interest in
meeting any woman that can’t carry on conversation on the phone. I understand some people
are not phone people. But I want to know who you are and how you are just on speaking terms
before I want to hang out with you in public. I could like you via text or email. But we could
speak on the phone and I am turned off. It could be your voice; it could be your emotion. It could
be that you’re not personal.
I as well know a few women who entirely meet men and date offline via text and facebook. One
girl actually tells the men to meet her at clubs so that it’s not meeting off the internet but like
they meet in a club. However her entire relationship with these people is text and email. No
phone conversation minus talking to her friends if he dogged her out.
I say again how do you expect to create a love connection when you are just a text friend? It’s
great that you can connect fast and get your point across, but when you spend more time
texting someone than talking to them there is no real connect.
I mean this as I have seen women say, “Oh he sent me a great text today.” Or Okay it’s been a
few days and I have not gotten even a text from him.
I don’t hear many men complaining about this, but I am sure a lot of guys understand what I am
I don’t date I do more of just talking getting to know, finding out if I connect or not. I have more
people who will make plans via text then when you check with them about plans they either do
not respond or they are always busy. They turn and say well you don’t ever respond to my text.
Well what do you think I am suppose to think when you text for a conversation instead of
answering the phone. Yes I understand we all get busy. I have a busy life likes yours. Let’s think
of it this way who wants to get to know a text with a picture that could be 3 years old vs. talking
on the phone and actually trying to connect to a person in reality.
Maybe I am just babbling. But if you are going to insist on texting me only to get to know or
making plans then I have no time to waste with you. A lot of people out there still understand
talking and getting to know a person.
By the way there is actually a book about how to date using text or email.